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News archive: The Sounds of Summer – Sponge Hitting Bottle

July 27th, 2013
Author: Chris Conder
Tags: b4rn blog customer ftth story
Posted In: Archive News

The weather has been very kind to the B4RN community lately. This has allowed for the digging, fibre blowing and customer connections to be carried out with the only interruptions being to apply more sun scream and drink tea.

There have been numerous stories coming from the new B4RN customers that are realising what a world class connection can offer. This one was posted to the Facebook page but was worth putting on the main page. Thank you for taking the time to share your experience.


We were blown by B4RN the other week. What an experience. It was a beautiful sunny day. There are some wonderful sounds associated with a British summer. The friendly babble of Test Match Special in the background, leather on willow, tennis ball on catgut, Aussie stumps rattling regularly. Well now there is a new sound. Sponge hitting bottle. What finer acoustic to add to the list. At last we knew we had a patent duct – all that twisting and writhing had been worth it.

Next came a rapid reshuffling of equipment. A squirt of lubricant a few tweaks and adjustments and hey presto 90 metres of fibre.

Once the required length was achieved it was my neighbour’s turn with equally satisfying results.
Not since the anticipation surrounding George Alexander Louis had there been so much anxiety. Will it be today, will it be tomorrow. Will it work?

Out of the blue I got a text message at work. “Christine Condor is in our house connecting us up”. What? THE Christine Condor? Star of TV, radio and all things broadband. The very same. Five minutes later I got a hasty phone call. “Christine has gone down to the cabinet to turn us on. Quick, while she is not here which lead do I plug into the router? Didn’t want to look daft…?” A quick Ethernet stuffed in the right place and off we went.

By the time I got home it was all done and dusted.

Eventually I will tire of going on speedtest.net. Eventually. No matter how many times I do it I still marvel as the needle hits the red zone. I want to be able to break the magic 100. I was advised to visit an Amsterdam website. I thought those were the ones that David Cameron wants to get the internet companies to ban but it turns out the Dutch have faster speed test sites. That said what is 10meg between friends? Yesterday I was managing with 2!

A huge thank you to all the main players in the team. Volunteers all. Yes that’s right – all volunteers. So next time you see a B4RN volunteer offer them a cuppa, a smile and a thank you. To Barry and Bruce, Chris, Chris, Chris and Chris. David, Eric and Tom to name but a few. Thank you also to the more local players. Stuart and Pat, Zita, Philip, Richard and David, not to mention the terrible trio of John, Kevin and Thomas.

It is worth it.

These words are meant to provide mirth not offence –and to cheer the team on and on.

Gavin And Belinda Second Nature Smallban

Stories from out in the field from our very happy customers

One residential customer in Over Kellet used to know whether it was worth firing up her computer by looking out of her front window to see what the weather was doing with her telephone line.

Customer Testimonial

We juggle two jobs from home, and it’s just been a game-changer. Just sign up! It’s the best internet service I’ve ever received, and I’ve moved a thousand times!
Georgiana, Dentdale
It has allowed us to improve our farm business through the implementation of Wi-Fi heat detection ankle bands on our herd, and thus improving our business productivity.
Heather Whalley, Farmer
OMG it is amazing! I don’t want to go back to London, which was faster than here, but not now! Just to say a BIG THANK YOU to all you guys, what a great thing you are doing. I’m shocked not everyone is signing up!
Customer in Norfolk
After lambing 1300 ewes a good film is what I want to watch and because we have B4RN that is no problem. Just enables me and my family to get on.
Farmer (Anonymous)
It’s like going from a Ford Anglia to a jet engine!
Jackie Frankland, Rathmell

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